2010 BET Awards

The 2010 BET awards went down last night. Hosted by Queen Latifah,  It actually was not all of that bad. I don't recall any drama. There were some things that could have been a little more entertaining like Usher's performance or perhaps different selections for the Prince tribute (Alicia Key's rocked it), but overall it wasn't too bad.

The best performance of the night was Chris Brown's tribute to Michael Jackson. Chris became very emotional while singing "Man In The Mirror" and couldn't even finish the song. I imagine the words to the song really sank in and hit home. There were teary eyes in the crowd and people all over twitter and facebook were talking about this performance. We all know that Chris is a MJ fan. I can't think of a more fitting artist to have done this tribute.

All of the performances were decent, so I can't think of a worse one.

I don't have a BEST Look of the night, but Nia Long was gorgeous as usual. Monica's hair was hot as usual, but her performance dress made good as a costume in the movie "Bat Man". Ciara looked nice. Queen Latifah looked gorgeous hitting the stage. She's lost alot of weight. Throughout the show, she changed into various costumes of characters from the movies she's appeared in. Her outfit as Chloe from Set It Off was a mess. But overall, the queen is beautiful. For the men, of course T.I. was handsome. Tyrese and Lorenz Tate also looked good. Lil Kim I mean Nicki Minaj had the worst look of all BET awards show. Keisha Cole, was really close though with that horrible hair. I love KC, but just why? Nicki's orange wig matched with the wedding dress was not the business. I can't get with the whole Barbie Doll looks and antics. I wish grown women would just act like grown women. She won an award so hey, good for her. Guess that's what matters (side eye).

Okay, that's it for now. I'm headed to work. For more scoop on the awards, head on over to http://www.bet.com/

PEACE!

Message From The Emerging Leaders Mentoring Program

The message below is a special message from the Emerging Leaders Mentoring Program (the program that my son attends). Please spread the word. They need our help.

WISDOM LEADERS!



We need Wisdom Leaders (retired black men) to volunteer their time to provide assistance during the Leadership Development Summer Program for Black Males being held at Barber-Scotia College at 145 Cabarrus Avenue West in Concord, NC.

Specifically, we need ten men to volunteer to help with the following tasks:

Prepare breakfast

Prepare lunch

Provide guidance

Share wisdom

Run errands

Monitor outdoor activities

Lead by example

Volunteer Schedule

You can volunteer whenever it is convenient for you between 8:00 am - 5:00 pm Monday - Friday. You do not have to volunteer a certain number of hours. You set your own hours. We need you to start as soon as you can.

Interested?

Please contact Susan Woods at 704.968.2769 or woods.susan@yahoo.com to volunteer to serve as Wisdom Leaders. We need you to help prepare 45 black male teens to be leaders! Thank You!

Call 704.968.2769 to volunteer as a Wisdom Leader!

Celebration of Michael

It's been a year since we lost Michael Jackson. Although he is not here in the physical, he is here in spirit. We continue to celebrate his his life, talent and contributions to the world. Whether people are willing to admit it or not,  Michael Jackson has probably had the most impact on music than another other muscian in the world. We immulated his style and music in the past and we continue to do so today. We love you MJ!! Hee-hee!!! I'll definitely be playing his music all day today!!

I'm a neutral color freak, but I'm realizing that my wardrobe is pretty "blah"! I have way too many neutral colors. I need to add a little more splash of color! I'm finding that when I wear items with color, I feel happier. Puts me in a better mood. All of these dull colors are getting boring. With all the stress of working and parenthood, I need to do all I can to stay in a happy mood!!

Today is the third day of camp for my son and he has enjoyed it! I'm so proud of him for being open for new opportunities. He's on his way to 10th grade and although I make most, well all of his decisions for him, he is pretty open to meeting new people and trying anything at least once. I'm realizing that he is growing up and as hard as it is for me, I have to allow him to make some decisions on his own and to let him develop his own character. So far, he's doing well. He's a good kid. I'm confident that this program will help him stay focused and hopefully, he'll even mature a little! I'm so grateful!

A Little Discomfort

Happy Monday! I woke up this morning and the the word "discomfort" immediately came to mind. Today is my son's first day participating in a mentoring program for young black males. Although it's a positive program with tons of benefits for him, he would much rather spend his summer doing things of his own choice. I explained to him that in order to progress in school, in a career and in life, there will and must be some level of discomfort. Being too comfortable will stagnate us and leave us in the same place for years. I'm excited for him. I know the feeling of being around people you don't know and in an environment in which you are unfamiliar, however, this experience will teach him the importance of networking and getting to know people from other walks of life. As an adult, I am familiar with discomfort. In fact, I welcome it into my life right now. I too have been stangant in my career and my life and I am now looking for opportunities to grow, advance, network and just live a more exciting life altogether. I'm happy for my son and the little hint of discomfort that he is experiencing as I type this post. I can't wait to see his growth at the end of the summer.

The Fathers In My Life

As I reminisce on my childhood, I realize how lucky I was to have two fathers. My biological father; Paul Abraham and my step father; Harvey Sanders. Both were influential figures in my life and both are great grand parents to my children. My biological father, Paul taught me that it’s never too late to pick up the pieces in your life and start anew. At nearly 40 years old, he stumbled and lost nearly everything he had; his apartment, his car, and his job. It wasn’t long before he regrouped and pulled his life back together. During his downfall, we remained close and I learned not to judge people for their circumstances because even the strongest can fall and get back up again.


Harvey was more influential during my child hood. At a very young age, he taught me to be self sufficient. That doesn’t mean not to ask for help when I need it, but to attempt to do things on my own first. As soon as I learned how to drive a car, I also learned how to change a tire as well as how to put motor oil in my own car. Harvey was a great provider for our family. We didn’t have everything we wanted, but we had everything we needed.

I give honor to them both. Many children grow up without even one father. I was lucky enough to have two. Thank you Paul and Harvey. I love you both. Thank you for teaching me and thank your for loving me.

My dad (Paul ) and my son at my son's mentoring program induction ceremony.

I LOVE being a Black Woman! There is nothing more beautiful!

This is a subject that I really did not want to touch upon on my blog because I don't want to be depicted as an angry black woman, however it is something that  bothers me. First question: Why do men who pay court ordered child support play the role of a victim? Within the past month, I have heard 2 men say "she got what she deserved" or "she's the one who went to the court, so now she's gonna get less". Second question: Is it just my thinking or have men forgotten that child support is support for the CHILD; not the mother? Who is the victim here? The father who is FORCED to provide financial support for THEIR child or the child who may be lacking  necessities due to a selfish, non-supportive father?

Let me get this right:So you feel "slighted" or "betrayed" because the mother of your child is asking for financial support? Men, please try and understand this: Child support is NOT for the mother. I repeat. It is NOT for the mother. In family law and government policy, child support is the ongoing practice for a periodic payment made for the financial care and support of children of a relationship or marriage that has been terminated.  The purpose of child support is to cover costs incurred from raising a child, which includes but is not limited to food, shelter, school lunch, medical expenses, clothes, schools supplies, daycare, afterschool care, summer camp costs, extra curricular activites (sports, dance, etc..) tutoring, libraries fees, gas to transport them back and forth from A to B.

Now that I've got that off my chest....I will say, that there are some GREAT fathers out there. I happen to know several. To those men, I say "hats off to you, Thank you for caring. I respect you and I pray that our future (especially in the African American community) will see many more great fathers like you".

Thanks and have a fabulous day.

Today I choose to be happy and to free my mind of negative thoughts. The more we harp on the things that aren't going right around us, the worst we will feel. Challenges will come and we know this. How we react in times of challenges make all the difference. Throughout the day listen to uplifting music or refer to enfluential quote. Ralph Marston has some good ones. Think of things that make you feel good or wear something that makes you feel beautiful. Do anything that keeps your thoughts on POSITIVE!!

Also, let's all make a special effort to surround ourselves around happy, positive people. Some people are so miserable and insecure. Give those type of people some space or else they'll begin to rub off on you and you'll soon be acting in the same manner. Have a great day folks. Stay fabulous!!!

Do something nice for someone today! It will make you feel good!!!

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I am so grateful to have lived to see another day and therefore, I will maximize my efforts in EVERYTHING I do. No use in being mediocre. I realize that some things in my life could be a bit better, but guess what if I had done better, things will be better. Not all of our challenges are within our control, but MANY of them are! Some of us need to evaluate our lives (including me) and rethink some of our priorities.

Lots going on with me. Kids have one more day in school!! I'm as excited as they are because I can sleep 30 minutes during the week!! Yay for me!! They will be sadly mistaken though if they think they're getting an academic break. I'm going to break them alright. My daughter needs alot of work in order to be prepared for 5th grade. Thank GOD for her 4th grade teacher for referring me to some good educational websites to visit this summer and for providing me with a math textbook to use for the summer. In case anyone is interested, the websites she referred to me are: http://edhelper.com/, http://multiplication.com/, http://fractions.com/ and http://www.spellingcity.com/.

My son needs an organizational and structure class!! Hopefully, if he is accepted into the Emerging Leaders product, he'll get some practice.

Okay, folks. I'm headed to work. Remember that positive actions follow positive thoughts. So think good things all day today! :0)

Happy Monday,

Ready to start a new week. Mondays aren't my favorite but hey, at least I made it to see another one!! Definitely blessed. Looking forward to a positive week. Had a busy weekend. My daughter had a track meet in High Point,  N.C. It was XXXXtra hot and the day was looooong! She did well and I'm proud. Maybe I'll share some pictures later. Okay, fabulones ones, be positive, think happy thoughts and enjoy your week.!!

Oh, anybody looking forwar to the VHI Hip Hop Honors tonight? I am. There were lots of tweets about them last week. Ready to see it for myself tonight!

Peace!!

Twelve Rules for Building Confidence

Twelve Rules For Building Confidence

By Alan Loy McGinnis

Reading a book titled "Confidence (how to succeed at being yourself" by Alan Loy McGinnis
 
Below are 12 rules that Mr.McGinnis share to help build confidence. I'm enjoying the book so far. Found it at a hospital's book store for $3.00.

1. Focus on your potential instead of your limitations
2. Determine to know the truth about your self
3. Distinguish between who you are and what you do
4. Find something you like to do and do well, then do it over and over
5. Replace self criticism with regular, positive self talk
6. Replace fear of failure with clear pictures of yourself functioning successfully and happily
7. Dare to be a little eccentric
8. Make the best possible peace with your parents
9. Determine to intergrate the body and spirit
10. Determine to live above neurotic guilt
11. Cultivate people who help you grow
12. Resuse to allow rejection to keep you from taking the initiative with people

Happy Early Memorial Day

Happy Early Memorial Day!

Memorial Day, which is observed on the last Monday of May, commemorates the men and women who died while in the military service. In observance of the holiday, many people visit cemeteries and memorials, and volunteers often place American flags on each grave site at national cemeteries. Many people celebrate by spending time with their loved ones. As you prepare for Memorial Day weekend, please remember to think about the people that have and is sacrificing their lives for our freedom and saftey. Please be responsible in whatever activities you particpate in. Do NOT drink and drive.

Janet's New Hair Cut

So I'm roaming around on the internet tonight and ran across a picture of Janet Jackson dressed really pretty with what seemed to be a short haircut. Sure enough it is! Janet has cut off all of her hair! See some of the pics here. I think she looks beautiful. They say older women look better with short hair. I guess I'm keeping mine short! :0) For more pictures, check out http://www.concreteloop.com/ . Janet is simply beautiful. No matter how she wears her hair.

I had a conversation the other day with a friend guy. I explained to him that he was a great guy, but he just wasn't the guy for me. After a number of "nice" explantions, I finally had to come flat out and tell him that at this point in life, I preferred someone that was more stable than he is. I encouraged him to focus on his life and try to get things in order for himself financially. That was the easiest way for me to say "I ain't dealing with no broke-broke"! His response: "I feel you. I want to be where you are one day. I'm all for stabilism." STABILISM! My response: That is not word!

That's when I pulled my dictionary out and ended the conversation.....for good.

Men!

Self Preservation (Dealing With Offense)

Good morning and Happy Monday!

I'm still reading the book "The Bait of Satan". As I've shared before, this book deals with offense. It teaches how to overcome offense and how to deal with internal issues that lead to offense. When I read self help books, I often highlight important notes and then go back into the book and re-read pieces. This helps me alot because I usually find important notes that pertain to how I'm feeling at certain times. Like today, I found a highlighted note that talks about Self-Preservation and how we isolate ourselves when we feel offended. I am the first to admit that I shelter myself when I feel like someone has offended me. I've always believed that this was my way of preventing an argument or going off on someone,  but really it's a to protect myself and to ignore my insecurities or the role that I played in the situation. Here's what the book says about self preservation:

"A common excuse for self-preservation through disobedience is offense. There is a flase sense of self protection in harboring an ofense. It keeps your from seeing your own character flaws because the blame is deffered to another. You never have to face your role, your immaturity, or your sin because you only see the faults of the offender. Therefore, God's attempt to develop character in your by this opposition is now abandoned. The offended person will avoid the source of the offense and eventually flee, becoming a spirtual vagabond."

So basically, when we back away from an offense, we ultimately lose because we miss out on opportunities for GOD to build our character. This is something that we should all think about the next time we're offended. Is the offense really an offense or are we trying to protect ourselves from what we know is true? What are your thoughts?

10 Discussions To Have With The New Guy

So you meet this new guy who seems to be everything you've been waiting for and more. He's so much different than your last man. He's tall. He's dark. His swag is on point. His cologne blew you away when you first met! He makes you feel "a certain kind of way"! But, what about his character? What about his past relationships? What is his family background? Some may think it's too early to ask important questions and prefer to just "go with the flow"! But that's the problem with many young relationships today. We're so concerned with the types of shoes he's wearing and what's in his pocket that we don't get to the core of who this man really is and what he stands for. Then it's too late. We soon find ourselves head over heels and in love with  the biggest BUSTER! He won't love us back and is not worth our time.

Every woman should have candid conversations with the men we meet in order to really get to know that person. Here are the top 10 discussions that I think are important:

1. Marital Status- We often assume that dude is not married, but if you just ASK, he'll tell you. Don't ask and he won't. He'll wait until you ask.
2. His relationship with the mother of his children -most men our age 30 and up DO have kids by now. I appreciate men who respect the mother of their kids and have maintained a good relationship with them.
3. Work ethic-How long has he been at his job? Does he even work now? If not, get to stepping. You will soon be paying for the dates, gas, etc..
4. Financial Stability- You don't need to know what's in his bank account, but hell can he at least keep his cell phone on?
5. HIV status-For real, ask him when the last time he was tested and what the results are.
6. His relationsip with his family-If he doesn't have a relationship with his family, ask him why? If it's not important to him, but you value family, then this union may not last for long
7. Jealousy-This is self explanatory
8. Religion-Does he go to church-if he doesn't go to church now, don't expect him to always want to go with you. If he believes in a different spiritiful figure than you, don't count him off, get to learn what his beliefs are and determine if you are willing to compromise in the future.
9. His relationship with his kids-If he doesn't spend time with his own kids, he probably won't give a damn about yours. Bottom line
10. Has he spent time in jail?-How often has he had run ins with the law? Does he respect the law? If not, he won't give a damn about respecting you.
11. Ask him SPECIFIC questions about past relationships-try to get information from him about his cheating patterns and things like domestic violence. That will tell you how he feels about respecting women (I know I said 10, but this one was equally important)

Okay, this is my list. These are not in order in terms of importance. They are all important to me!

What are some important discussions you have when you first meet a guy?

Good morning,
This is some very important information that I wanted to share from Emerging Leaders!

Mentorship Program for Black Males

Passing the torch of leadership to the next generation!


INFORMATION MEETING

Free Summer Program for Black Males

Saturday, May 15, 2010

9:30 am - 12:30 pm

York County Public Library

138 Black Street (beside Police Department)

Rock Hill, South Carolina 29732



Register online at www.elmp2010.com

ATTENTION PARENTS!

Has your son applied for admission into the

FREE Leadership Development Summer Program?

Application deadline is May 15, 2010

The Emerging Leaders Mentorship Program (ELMP) for Black Males is hosting a free six-week "Leadership Development Summer Program" for black male teens from June 21 through August 6 on the campus of Barber-Scotia College in Concord, NC. We are inviting applicants from Cabarrus, Gaston, Mecklenburg, and York counties to apply for admission.

LIFE-CHANGING EXPERIENCE

Parents, please do NOT allow your sons to tell you they do not want to apply for admission into this life-saving program! Research shows that we lose many of our children during the summer due to them becoming bored and choosing to engage in negative activities.

Our program provides mental, physical, and spiritual development. The "Leadership Development Summer Program" is not the typical "camp". Instead, this program allows your sons to meet some of the most successful black men in the four-county region we serve. Your sons will also be able to complete a major community service project. Finally, because we realize the importance of including FUN activities in the program, your sons will enjoy field trips each Friday!

PARTICIPANT TESTIMONIALS

In closing, please select the link below to see video testimonials that four participants shared last year about their experiences during the 2009 Summer Program. You will be amazed!

http://good-times.webshots.com/slideshow/573856045xrgwIb


Sincerely,

Brian Freeland, Program Manager

Emerging Leaders Mentorship Program for Black Males

704.502.1137 / brian@theelmp.com

We look forward to seeing you at the

INFORMATION MEETING!

Feel free to bring your son's application to the meeting.