Happy Early Memorial Day

Happy Early Memorial Day!

Memorial Day, which is observed on the last Monday of May, commemorates the men and women who died while in the military service. In observance of the holiday, many people visit cemeteries and memorials, and volunteers often place American flags on each grave site at national cemeteries. Many people celebrate by spending time with their loved ones. As you prepare for Memorial Day weekend, please remember to think about the people that have and is sacrificing their lives for our freedom and saftey. Please be responsible in whatever activities you particpate in. Do NOT drink and drive.

Janet's New Hair Cut

So I'm roaming around on the internet tonight and ran across a picture of Janet Jackson dressed really pretty with what seemed to be a short haircut. Sure enough it is! Janet has cut off all of her hair! See some of the pics here. I think she looks beautiful. They say older women look better with short hair. I guess I'm keeping mine short! :0) For more pictures, check out http://www.concreteloop.com/ . Janet is simply beautiful. No matter how she wears her hair.

I had a conversation the other day with a friend guy. I explained to him that he was a great guy, but he just wasn't the guy for me. After a number of "nice" explantions, I finally had to come flat out and tell him that at this point in life, I preferred someone that was more stable than he is. I encouraged him to focus on his life and try to get things in order for himself financially. That was the easiest way for me to say "I ain't dealing with no broke-broke"! His response: "I feel you. I want to be where you are one day. I'm all for stabilism." STABILISM! My response: That is not word!

That's when I pulled my dictionary out and ended the conversation.....for good.

Men!

Self Preservation (Dealing With Offense)

Good morning and Happy Monday!

I'm still reading the book "The Bait of Satan". As I've shared before, this book deals with offense. It teaches how to overcome offense and how to deal with internal issues that lead to offense. When I read self help books, I often highlight important notes and then go back into the book and re-read pieces. This helps me alot because I usually find important notes that pertain to how I'm feeling at certain times. Like today, I found a highlighted note that talks about Self-Preservation and how we isolate ourselves when we feel offended. I am the first to admit that I shelter myself when I feel like someone has offended me. I've always believed that this was my way of preventing an argument or going off on someone,  but really it's a to protect myself and to ignore my insecurities or the role that I played in the situation. Here's what the book says about self preservation:

"A common excuse for self-preservation through disobedience is offense. There is a flase sense of self protection in harboring an ofense. It keeps your from seeing your own character flaws because the blame is deffered to another. You never have to face your role, your immaturity, or your sin because you only see the faults of the offender. Therefore, God's attempt to develop character in your by this opposition is now abandoned. The offended person will avoid the source of the offense and eventually flee, becoming a spirtual vagabond."

So basically, when we back away from an offense, we ultimately lose because we miss out on opportunities for GOD to build our character. This is something that we should all think about the next time we're offended. Is the offense really an offense or are we trying to protect ourselves from what we know is true? What are your thoughts?

10 Discussions To Have With The New Guy

So you meet this new guy who seems to be everything you've been waiting for and more. He's so much different than your last man. He's tall. He's dark. His swag is on point. His cologne blew you away when you first met! He makes you feel "a certain kind of way"! But, what about his character? What about his past relationships? What is his family background? Some may think it's too early to ask important questions and prefer to just "go with the flow"! But that's the problem with many young relationships today. We're so concerned with the types of shoes he's wearing and what's in his pocket that we don't get to the core of who this man really is and what he stands for. Then it's too late. We soon find ourselves head over heels and in love with  the biggest BUSTER! He won't love us back and is not worth our time.

Every woman should have candid conversations with the men we meet in order to really get to know that person. Here are the top 10 discussions that I think are important:

1. Marital Status- We often assume that dude is not married, but if you just ASK, he'll tell you. Don't ask and he won't. He'll wait until you ask.
2. His relationship with the mother of his children -most men our age 30 and up DO have kids by now. I appreciate men who respect the mother of their kids and have maintained a good relationship with them.
3. Work ethic-How long has he been at his job? Does he even work now? If not, get to stepping. You will soon be paying for the dates, gas, etc..
4. Financial Stability- You don't need to know what's in his bank account, but hell can he at least keep his cell phone on?
5. HIV status-For real, ask him when the last time he was tested and what the results are.
6. His relationsip with his family-If he doesn't have a relationship with his family, ask him why? If it's not important to him, but you value family, then this union may not last for long
7. Jealousy-This is self explanatory
8. Religion-Does he go to church-if he doesn't go to church now, don't expect him to always want to go with you. If he believes in a different spiritiful figure than you, don't count him off, get to learn what his beliefs are and determine if you are willing to compromise in the future.
9. His relationship with his kids-If he doesn't spend time with his own kids, he probably won't give a damn about yours. Bottom line
10. Has he spent time in jail?-How often has he had run ins with the law? Does he respect the law? If not, he won't give a damn about respecting you.
11. Ask him SPECIFIC questions about past relationships-try to get information from him about his cheating patterns and things like domestic violence. That will tell you how he feels about respecting women (I know I said 10, but this one was equally important)

Okay, this is my list. These are not in order in terms of importance. They are all important to me!

What are some important discussions you have when you first meet a guy?

Good morning,
This is some very important information that I wanted to share from Emerging Leaders!

Mentorship Program for Black Males

Passing the torch of leadership to the next generation!


INFORMATION MEETING

Free Summer Program for Black Males

Saturday, May 15, 2010

9:30 am - 12:30 pm

York County Public Library

138 Black Street (beside Police Department)

Rock Hill, South Carolina 29732



Register online at www.elmp2010.com

ATTENTION PARENTS!

Has your son applied for admission into the

FREE Leadership Development Summer Program?

Application deadline is May 15, 2010

The Emerging Leaders Mentorship Program (ELMP) for Black Males is hosting a free six-week "Leadership Development Summer Program" for black male teens from June 21 through August 6 on the campus of Barber-Scotia College in Concord, NC. We are inviting applicants from Cabarrus, Gaston, Mecklenburg, and York counties to apply for admission.

LIFE-CHANGING EXPERIENCE

Parents, please do NOT allow your sons to tell you they do not want to apply for admission into this life-saving program! Research shows that we lose many of our children during the summer due to them becoming bored and choosing to engage in negative activities.

Our program provides mental, physical, and spiritual development. The "Leadership Development Summer Program" is not the typical "camp". Instead, this program allows your sons to meet some of the most successful black men in the four-county region we serve. Your sons will also be able to complete a major community service project. Finally, because we realize the importance of including FUN activities in the program, your sons will enjoy field trips each Friday!

PARTICIPANT TESTIMONIALS

In closing, please select the link below to see video testimonials that four participants shared last year about their experiences during the 2009 Summer Program. You will be amazed!

http://good-times.webshots.com/slideshow/573856045xrgwIb


Sincerely,

Brian Freeland, Program Manager

Emerging Leaders Mentorship Program for Black Males

704.502.1137 / brian@theelmp.com

We look forward to seeing you at the

INFORMATION MEETING!

Feel free to bring your son's application to the meeting.

Redirect Your Thoughts

A good way to move forward in life or to achieve goals is to focus positively on the things that we want instead of focusing on the things that we don't want. I have a habit of stressing on the things that I don't want to happen in my life instead of imagining things to play out how I actually want them. I'm actually going through this as I type!! I'm hoping that I can look back and take my own advice.

It is very important that we pay attention to our thoughts because as we've learned from the book "The Secret", we bring to life the very things that we focus on (good and bad)

Good example: most of my readers know that my son has Sickle Cell Disease. 2008 was a tough year for us. My son was in and out of the hospital frequently. In 2009, he started to spend less time in the hospital. At one point, he had gone almost 9 months without being admitted. I realized this and brought it to his attention and shortly after, he was back in the hospital. We had another incidence a few weeks ago, where I brought up the fact that it's been about 6 months since he's been in the hosptial and sure enough, we were at the emergency room a few days later. Don't get me wrong, I'm sure there are other factors such as the weather and physical activity that brought about his crisis, but my point is my constant thinking about this has in some way brought it to reality.

A good tip on correcting negative thinking is to re-route those negative thoughts when arrive and speak of only those things that we want to happen. Example: I am looking foward to having a nice dinner with an old friend. Or perhaps, instead of saying, hope I haven't gained too much weight for my favorite pair or jeans, one could say something like, I look foward to fitting comfortably in my size 4 jeans.  In my case, I think it's best that I don't make mention of my son's illness as it relates to having a crisis. The reality of this situation is that I have to actively make sure that he eats well, take his meds and watch his physical activity, but I will not make mention of the pain crisis and hosptitalizations.

If you have any tips to postive thinking, please share them in comments.

AIDS Walk Charlotte 2010

I know it has taken me a whole week, but here are the pics from the AIDS Walk Charlotte event. There were just a few family members and friends that walked with me, but I'm grateful for the support.

Thanks to all who supported my team (Fabulous In 2010)! We met our recruiting and fundraising goals. Our goal was to raise $200. We raised $225. This was our first year, but we'll definitely do it again. We had so much fun. This wasn't a sad, dreary event at all. There were freebies, music, dancing (we got our cupid shuffle and single ladies on) and lots of mingling. This was a great event. Thanks to the Regional Aids Interfaith Network, Radio Stations Power 98 and Kiss 95.1 and Rosedale for sponsoring this event!

Sunday Night on VHI

A Family Business
I kind of like this show. Brandy and Ray J both seem to love the cameras. Brandy seems to want to be hood to me. Their mom is super agressive. It seems to work with their business relationship, but not for their personal relationship. It's seems as though Brandy wants to improve the personal relationship, but her mom is too head strong to really care.

Basketball Wives
Not really into this show. Nothing but instigating and signifying (as my grandmother would say) grown women. The only reaoson I'm watching is because "What Chilli Wants" comes up next. The most interesting piece of this show is the relationship between Jen and  Eric Williams.  You know, the obnoxious rude, cheating basketball player. I'm very interested in seeing if Jennifer would eventually leave her jof a husband. Doubt it. I think she's afraid to give up the life style.

What Chilli Wants
Chilli and her checklist. What can I say? Realistic or not? Everyone should have standards and STICK TO THEM, but Chilli has a checklist out of this world. Whew! In this episode, her love coach convinces her to see a therapist to get to the underlying concerns that Chilli has with men. It appears that Chilli follows her mind more than she follows her heart. That's a good thing, however, it may prevent her from seeing some good traits in some of the men that she is introduced to. Now that relationship coach of hers, Tiona is another story. She's made some good points about Chilli, but I would love to know what her success rate has been with other clients. It must be pretty good because why else would Chilli work with her. Tiona is a hot, loud mess. I'm very interested in knowing if Tiona can actually find Chilli a man. Guess I'll have to stay tuned.

Happy Mother's Day!

Happy Mother's Day to all of the mother's in heaven!! My mother went to heaven 6 years ago. I miss her dearly and today I celebrate her. Today is more of a sad than happy day for me. I am grateful to be a proud mother, yet I miss my own mother so much!!

10 Reasons Why I Love My Life!

I love my life because :

1. God loves me!!
2. I am NOT what I used to be. I am forever growing
3. I am healthy and my children are healthy
4. I have beautiful teeth
5. I have a stable job
6. I have friends and family who love me
7. I am able to see something good in everyone
8. I have shelter and food
9. I can adapt to different environments easily and get along with people from all walks of life
10. I'm comfortable with me. When I look in the mirror, I love the person that stares back at me. Sometimes I smile at her! MOST of the time I smile at her! :0)

The best experience that a person can gain from life is to take risks. I'm learning that as each day go by. Being afraid to fail can be a huge set back. It prevents us from pressing forward and reaching for our dreams. We can't win at everything and experiencing failures is a sure way to strengthen us for success. One problem that I have is always trying to prepare for things to happen and expecting them to happen in the order that I want them to instead of just allowing things to be. I really need to relax and be willing to take more risks!  That's my goal for the rest of the year! Whoo-hoo! Wish me luck.

Happy Monday!!

Today is somewhat a dreary Monday. Looks like it's going to rain. I plan on making it a good day. Hope no drama ensues! I had a busy weekend, especially on Saturday. Spent time with my family, did the AIDS Walk Charlotte, went to my daughter's track meet (Go Charlotte Heat!) and watch Sugar Shane get whooped up!!! I love Pretty Boy Floyd!

I'll be back later with pics from AIDS Walk Charlotte! Have a great day!

Pics from AIDS walk Charlotte will be posted tomorrow!!