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Friday, May 14, 2010

10 Discussions To Have With The New Guy

So you meet this new guy who seems to be everything you've been waiting for and more. He's so much different than your last man. He's tall. He's dark. His swag is on point. His cologne blew you away when you first met! He makes you feel "a certain kind of way"! But, what about his character? What about his past relationships? What is his family background? Some may think it's too early to ask important questions and prefer to just "go with the flow"! But that's the problem with many young relationships today. We're so concerned with the types of shoes he's wearing and what's in his pocket that we don't get to the core of who this man really is and what he stands for. Then it's too late. We soon find ourselves head over heels and in love with  the biggest BUSTER! He won't love us back and is not worth our time.

Every woman should have candid conversations with the men we meet in order to really get to know that person. Here are the top 10 discussions that I think are important:
  1. Marital Status- We often assume that dude is not married, but if you just ASK, he'll tell you. Don't ask and he won't. He'll wait until you ask.
  2. His relationship with the mother of his children -most men our age 30 and up DO have kids by now. I appreciate men who respect the mother of their kids and have maintained a good relationship with them.
  3. Work ethic-How long has he been at his job? Does he even work now? If not, get to stepping. You will soon be paying for the dates, gas, etc..
  4. Financial Stability- You don't need to know what's in his bank account, but hell can he at least keep his cell phone on?
  5. HIV status-For real, ask him when the last time he was tested and what the results are.
  6. His relationsip with his family-If he doesn't have a relationship with his family, ask him why? If it's not important to him, but you value family, then this union may not last for long
  7. Jealousy-This is self explanatory
  8. Religion-Does he go to church-if he doesn't go to church now, don't expect him to always want to go with you. If he believes in a different spiritiful figure than you, don't count him off, get to learn what his beliefs are and determine if you are willing to compromise in the future.
  9. His relationship with his kids-If he doesn't spend time with his own kids, he probably won't give a damn about yours. Bottom line
  10. Has he spent time in jail?-How often has he had run ins with the law? Does he respect the law? If not, he won't give a damn about respecting you.
  11. Ask him SPECIFIC questions about past relationships-try to get information from him about his cheating patterns and things like domestic violence. That will tell you how he feels about respecting women (I know I said 10, but this one was equally important)
Okay, this is my list. These are not in order in terms of importance. They are all important to me!

What are some important discussions you have when you first meet a guy?

2 comments:

~Meik said...

Good ones! i also like to know what goals a guy has..and HOW he's planning to get to that point.. and i google him..cuz we all know mofos lie about ish..

@FABMOMCLT said...

Good morning Meik!! I agree. Goals are very important as well as current achievements! And honey, I google men, addresses, etc!! Nowadays I need all of the information I can get. There are other topics that I talk about including sexuality!